Uh oh

(meant to put this up a week ago oops)
Last Sunday dinnah of the semester is tomorrow. Last time with the group, for a long while at least, and last time cooking (forreal cooking, not microwaving oatmeal). Not sure how to feel. On the one hand, there's melancholy -- so many people I won't see for such a long, including my family, and so many changes I won't get to witness. And selfishly, all the inside jokes I'll miss out on. On the other hand, small, sudden, pill-like doses of fear. Just irregular and infrequent enough to catch me off guard when I'm doing something mindless, like trying to fall asleep.

And then, overwhelmingly, all the time: borderline peeing my pants excitement. I have this vision of myself sailing down a sunny Valencian street on a bike, knowing where I am, maybe even seeing people I know, going somewhere with a sense of purpose that's totally my own, filled with a sense of place that I've painstakingly built palabra by palabra, maybe even mulling over a dream had in Spanish the night before or better yet,  mulling over a Spanish dream IN SPANISH. I daydream of hanging out in a cafe and knowing the owner and the neighborhood regulars, having long, languid conversations that segue into warm Spanish nights and weekends spent traveling to, well, anywhere really, because anywhere will be an adventure.
Absurd and romantic, yes. But I'm not letting the skeptic in me kill these dreams yet.

I am also struck by how very unoriginal each of these sentiments are. Though they grip me with a kind of terrifying novelty, they are probably only repetitions of what every other traveler before me has felt. And that's okay -- they're new to me,at least, and I at the same time feel myself forging a tiny, filament-like connection to a much grander tradition. Something like the spirit of adventure, maybe. Anyway.

These are some of the things I've been doing/should start doing soon to prepare, in no particular order:
1. Google-earthing the shit out of Valenica.
2. Getting travel suggestions from the more internationally savvy people in my life (Italy and Turkey currently top the list. Maybe Morocco's on there too. Also maybe Portugal. "The top" is a loose rank, currently encompassing most of Europe).
3. Listening to Juanes. And Mana, and Shakira (they're not Spanish pero no importa).
4. Reading this book and wishing El Bulli still existed. But refusing to let this diminish my excitement over Spanish food.
5. Getting into futbol. Surprisingly difficult...I'm not a sports person.
6. Trying to break out of my weird American food habits/not being a grandma when it comes to sleep patterns.
7. Thinking about what my host ma might want for a "thanks for taking care of me!" gift. Also practicing taking shorter showers. Spain's all about water conservation.
8. Watching these. Trying so very, very hard to understand.

I think this is going to change a lot of things about my life. But it seems silly/futile to try and anticipate what those changes will be.